Don't tell me you are a 'results-focused professional with a demonstrated history of achievement'. That's just BS. Tell me stories and use natural language...
I may be interested in the fact that you like scuba diving and cricket. Then again I may not.
But if you tell me you are a results-driven professional with a demonstrated history of achievement, I'm probably going to click away elsewhere.
It seems that someone, once upon a time, managed to convince the world that stuffing vapid comments and 'power verbs' into CVs, Resumés and LinkedIn Profiles was actually a good thing.
It's not a good thing.
From the article by Amy George appearing on Inc.com
Strategic
Unique
Metrics
Solution
Best-of-breed
Synergy
Robust
Leverage
Utilise
Expert
Results-driven
Highly
Go-getter
Leader
As the article outlines, there are always simpler ways to say things, and you should use simple words, and tell short stories to highlight your skills and achievements.
You can also try talking about what drives you and inspires you, and what interests you outside of work.
Your love of horses, funk music or fine wines is something I may not share - but it can certainly be the starting point for a conversation.
When I read your profile, I don't want to only learn about your business, and your skills, and how ace you are at that thing you do. I certainly don't want to hear you boasting.
What I want is to feel that I have had the equivalent of a chat over a cup of coffee with you, or perhaps a drink or two. I want to feel I've got to know you a little better.
An important part of the job your LinkedIn Profile has to do is to act as the starting point for a conversation. The more you give people to talk about, the more chance there is of sparking a conversation.
Wine.
French, Spanish, Italian and Indian Cooking.
20th Century & contemporary literature.
Travel.
Catalan history.
Scottish history.
Cinema.
Whisky.
Photography.
Politics.
Formula 1.
Plenty of topics there to start a conversation, aren't there?
Visit David Petherick's Profile
People buy people, whatever their business is. And if you're not a person people want to buy into, you are making things difficult for yourself.
So talk about yourself, and let people know about your enthusiasms and interests as well as your expertise.
And use simple language.
Be you. Be interesting, and interested.
Be human. Then people will want to connect.
A useful tool I recommend is the Hemingway App - a free online resource to evaluate your prose. It helps you to simplify your language and make it easier to understand. See hemingwayapp.com
